Legally Correct Fairy Tales by Fisher David

Author:Fisher, David [Fisher, David]
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Publisher: Hachette Book Group
Published: 2009-12-02T05:00:00+00:00

KINGDOM V. PRINCE CHARMING

Summation of Mr. Clarion

(Prosecution for Kingdom)

Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen of the jury. You have before you what I believe to be a simple but vitally important task. It is your job—nay, your privilege—to be in a position to protect the virtue of every woman in this kingdom. For these past few weeks you have sat here listening to the disgraceful tale of how one man, a pillar of this kingdom, knowingly and persistently took advantage of the fair damsels of this community. You have heard witnesses describe how he made promises to them, how he gave them hope for a better life and then, after he had had his way with them, betrayed them. You have heard witness after witness describe how he gained their confidence, then dismissed them forever after. And you have seen the evidence, the so-called glass slipper. The slipper that could not possibly have ever been worn.

Ladies and gentlemen, in a few minutes you will retire to the jury room and determine the fate and reputation not only of the accused, but of the entire kingdom. It is an awesome burden. But let that verdict be a clear message to all who come here: Our damsels are not for trifling. This is a place of chivalry. So I beseech you, ladies and gentlemen, beseech you, to reach the only possible verdict in this case: You must find that this prince is not so charming! And that he is guilty as charged of sexual abuse!

Let us take a few moments to review what you have heard and seen in this courtroom. The basic facts of this sordid case are not in dispute. Let’s begin by examining the testimony of the Defendant, the Prince, himself. He admits that this all began the night he attended the annual 1,500-crown-a-plate ball at the Royal Palace. As befitting a prince, he danced with many different women. But then, he claimed, toward the end of the evening a mysterious stranger arrived, a beautiful woman no one in the kingdom had ever seen before. He danced with her for approximately one hour. Close dancing, slow dancing. And yet, according to the Prince’s own testimony, he never learned her name. Think of that. They were dancing closer to one another than I am to you, but not once the entire time did he think to ask her what her name was? Does that sound reasonable to you? A charming prince, a beautiful woman, and he failed to ask something as basic as “By the way, what’s your name?” How convenient for him, as things turned out. What did they speak about during that time period? The weather in the kingdom? Archery? Perhaps he told her the latest Goth joke. Maybe she shared her favorite witch’s brew formula. But he claims he didn’t even ask her her name. If you believe that, I’ve got a little gingerbread house to sell you.

Next, according to the Prince, as the clock began striking midnight, this unidentified woman ran out of the ballroom without even giving the Prince her address.

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